Commercial Analysis

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Why Tampon Ads are So Obnoxious (to you)

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“Hi, I’m an eighteen to twenty-four year old female who’s ability to read memorized lines that I didn’t write makes me seem self-aware and intelligent. Despite my appearance, you can relate to me because I share the same cynical attitudes about beauty and happiness that you do. I’m trying to be like you right now. I can’t help that I neglected my intelligence in order to manipulate people with my beauty – just as you can’t help that you neglected your beauty in order to manipulate people with your intelligence. Anyways, I’m in this commercial because market research shows that girls like you love to dislike girls like the one I’m pretending to be. Don’t all the disassociative observations I’m making prove to you that we have something in common? Now I really am going to tell you to buy something. Buy the same tampons I will use for awhile – the ones in the ugly, unpopular packaging, so that eventually the ones in the traditional packaging become unpopular, at which time I will resume using those. This is because just like your stock and trade – pseudo-intellectualism – gets people to make uninformed decisions, beauty does too. You see, we’re not all that different after all. We may be enemies in competition for the same target – the girl who is both genuinely intelligent and beautiful and not ashamed of it – but ultimately we’re the same kind of half-formed spiritual parasite. So don’t wish you could be me; you already are.”

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Written by commercialanalysis

June 9, 2010 at 12:30 am

Posted in Health

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